The r-word

The Game Dame is sort of my hero right now. She's a hell of a lot braver than I am, I can tell you that.

I've been wanting to write something about how people use the word "rape" in game, but have hesitated to bring it up. I'm not unlucky enough to be in a guild that tolerates it (or at least, no one's ever used it when I'm on), but I definitely sympathize with her position — casual use of the word would be something I'd leave over, too. It is something I have left battlegrounds over.

So let me make my position clear: nothing that happens in WoW can be called "rape." The feelings you get after a nasty wipe or getting completely destroyed in a PVP matchup are not even close to the trauma that comes from being sexually assaulted. They simply do not compare.

You can make the argument that words can be used in different ways, and you can make the argument that not using the word gives it power. (This is, in fact, the arguments people have gotten into with me.) But you know what? For people who have been through actual rape, the word already has power. It doesn't matter how you use it, it is going to bring up nasty feelings and nasty memories, and frankly, that takes the fun out of the game. To continue to use it when someone has asked you not to, particularly when they have the guts to explain why, is SO incredibly disrespectful.

Too many people think that because they are playing a video game, they have license to be disrespectful. It's apparently entirely appropriate, in some people's minds, to make incredibly disrespectful comments (Game Dame mentions the n-word — racial slurs and homophobic names are actually used quite a lot on some servers as well, and that is also not okay) because it's not real life. But the people on the other side of the chat box are still people. If it's not something you would say to someone in real life, DON'T FUCKING SAY IT IN GAME.

If you would not tell a rape survivor in real life about how you "totally got raped" by murlocs or whatever, then WHY would you shrug that off in game? Why does anonymity give you the right to just sit by and let people say horrible shit? (Not that this doesn't happen in real life, too, sadly.)

In conclusion, don't be an asshole. And go read Game Dame's entry on the subject, please.