True Cat Stories: OH GOD GET IT OFF

Back when I lived in Queens, I used to hang out in the parks all the time because I missed living in the country and they were about as close as you could get.

So one day, I was in Central Park and this guy comes walking down a path with this absolutely gorgeous Himalayan cat on a leash. It was possibly the yuppiest thing I've ever seen, but also the most awesome — this can was completely unperturbed by bikers, roller bladers, and people walking their dogs, and he even let me pet her (yes, I asked!).

Ditto, my old kitty, used to just follow me along and never needed a leash, but when Sparrow was a kitten, she had a propensity to wander away to chase after bugs and stuff, and living in town, I was afraid she'd run into the street or something, so I went out and bought myself a cat leash. After the first time she wore it, it never bothered her at all, and now when she hears me taking it out of the basket, she comes running from wherever she is in the apartment to go for a walk.

Klio, on the other hand, was not all that fond of the outdoors and never needed her leash — which is good, because she's one of those cats who acts as though the leash is crushing them. (She did the same thing with her collar for a week.)

Only recently, Klio has decided that if Sparrow gets to go outside, then she should go outside, too. The first couple of times she was great. She was nervous, so she stuck to my side like glue.

Once she got used to it, it was a nightmare. See, Klio is a very playful cat, and her favorite thing in the world (Sparrow's too, actually) is to be chased. And she decided that "Time to go in" meant "Time to play chase!" and started hiding under bushes, running up trees, coming a fingertip's distance away and then running in circles around me, and so on, and for a chubby little cat she is EXTREMELY FAST.

Last time we went out, then, I put the harness and leash on her. And she stayed the entire time at the foot of the stairs (which I had to carry her down), yowling like I was killing her and pressed flat to the ground.

So when we got back inside, I left the harness on her. She'll get used to it, right? I figured I'd feed them wet food, and by the time she was done eating, she'd have forgotten it.

No dice. I carried her to the food, plopped her down inches away, and went to check my e-mail. Three or four minutes later, she started yowling again, and I went to check, and found out why she was crying. Sparrow had taken advantage of Klio's apparent inability to move the two inches to her food dish and was wolfing down Klio's treat in addition to her own. *facepalm*

So the harness is off for now, and I am at a loss as far as figuring this out. Klio desperately wants to go outside — to the point where she tries to sneak out when I am coming home from work or bringing Spar back in — but I cannot trust her off the leash and she is immobile and loud on the leash. What to do?